Parenting Without Contact: The Rise in Parallel Parenting

 Posted on September 16, 2025 in Child Custody

Although co-parenting is generally considered the "gold standard," what happens in Illinois parenting cases when the parents are unable to get along well enough to make co-parenting a reasonable solution? Situations involving hostility, constant conflict, or even concerns about a child’s safety can make cooperation between parents nearly impossible. When this happens, Illinois courts sometimes implement parallel parenting.

The structured nature of parallel parenting allows both parents to remain involved in their children's lives while minimizing direct contact with each other. When parallel parenting is utilized, conflict is generally reduced, and the well-being of the children is prioritized. "Custody" in the state of Illinois is now known as the allocation of parental responsibilities, and "visitation" is known as parenting time (750 ILCS 5/602.7). A Geneva, IL family law attorney can help you determine whether parallel parenting is right for your situation.

What Is Parallel Parenting?

Parallel parenting allows each parent to independently manage his or her own household and parenting style while adhering closely to a strict parenting plan. High-conflict parents can minimize their direct interactions through parallel parenting, as communication between them is often very limited. Communication is usually limited to written exchanges, such as email or parenting apps, for these high-conflict parents.  

Some of the key characteristics of parallel parenting include:

• Parallel parenting involves independent parenting where each parent makes his or her own rules, routines, and traditions at their respective homes.
• All direct communication between the parents is kept to a minimum.
• In parallel parenting, the parents avoid attending the same appointments, events, or school functions with the children.
• A detailed parenting plan is a crucial part of parallel parenting, as it outlines guidelines for decision-making that create boundaries and structure, and has clear custody schedules and holiday arrangements.
• The primary goal of parallel parenting is to reduce conflict for parents and the children by essentially keeping their worlds separate.
• Parents who engage in parallel parenting have high-conflict relationships and are unwilling or unable to work together as a parenting team.

How Does Parallel Parenting Differ from Co-parenting?

Co-parenting involves regular communication between the parents as they make decisions together on the primary issues in their child’s life. Co-parenting involves coordinating parenting efforts and working together for the good of the child or children. Parents who can maintain a civil relationship with one another without much conflict are good candidates for co-parenting.

Parallel parenting involves limited direct contact between parents, with each parent making his or her own independent decisions for the child. There is minimal to no collaboration between parents in parallel parenting, which is suitable for parents who find direct communication too stressful or difficult. The ultimate goal of parallel parenting is to reduce conflict and shield children from parental disputes.  

Illinois courts are likely to consider parallel parenting when it is clear that constant disputes between the parents disrupt the lives of the children and the parents. In cases that involve protective orders, safety concerns, or verbal or emotional abuse, parallel parenting could also be ordered by the courts. Finally, if co-parenting arrangements have repeatedly failed, the court may order parallel parenting.

Contact a Kane County, IL Family Lawyer

If you are struggling with a high-conflict parenting situation, you do have options. Courts recognize that traditional co-parenting may not always be a viable option, and may order parallel parenting as a workable alternative. An experienced Geneva, IL family law attorney from McSwain Rapp Law, LLC can help you design a comprehensive parenting plan that prioritizes your child’s well-being.

After some time spent in parallel parenting, the court may transition you to regular co-parenting if that would be in your child’s best interests. Having an attorney who consistently advocates for your rights and the best interests of your child is a crucial component of starting a new life after divorce. Schedule your free consultation today by calling 630-581-2877.